One of the questions I am most often asked is “does Kundalini awakening ever end?” Can I ever be free of this endless process of change, opening, chaos and deepening and the suffering that it brings me? I asked myself this question many times in the heat of my own Kundalini process.
And the answer is yes, and no.
Yes, Kundalini does and can definitely end. The process of Kundalini surging upwards through your body, purifying and transforming you can come to a welcome conclusion, it stops. It stops for good.
I know this through direct personal experience, through the final blow out of my own Kundalini process. After years of being on fire, suffering from the often overwhelming unwinding of trauma from my body and the freeing up of my whole energetic system Kundalini took one last blast into hyper space out the top of my head.
For months prior to this I felt my Kundalini process speed up until in the final weeks I would laugh to myself that this is either going to pop or I’ll die. The Kundalini was going so fast in its final clearing process that it sounded like the psychic scream of a jet plane about to take off. I have heard from others that their Kundalini also sounded impressively impossibly loud, a hurricane on an energetic level, before the end. My insomnia was at a peak. I would watch the possums at night in the moonlit gum trees outside my mountain cottage and wonder how long my system could take such a wild ride. Yet everyday I would get up and have exactly what I needed in terms of inner resources, strength and energy to meet the needs of my day including running my therapy practice. This was a deeply appreciated miracle.
On my last day of Kundalini I finished work in the city and suddenly felt deeply exhausted in a way I couldn’t explain. I got in my car and drove back to the mountains, fed my dog and went straight to bed.
The next morning I awoke unable to move physically for hours, so still and quiet within it was like the whole world had stopped, and my whole world had stopped. I knew exactly what happened to me, Kundalini had completed and the specific reference point of my personal history that I had orientated around for so long had gone. It was very very funny and very quiet. It was freedom.
It took me months to integrate such a screeching halt to my Kundalini process, and for my body to absorb this sudden alteration in its central point of reference from my personal history to something eternal and constant. This challenge is common for people who have abrupt and large hyper jumps in their awakening process.
After this my Kundalini symptoms swiftly died down and disappeared completely. No more heat or radical unwinding of the nervous system, no more strange body symptoms that had no physiological explanation, no more difficulties with integrating huge amounts of Kundalini Shakti into a physical body. No more endless energetic challenges to deal with while dealing with my everyday life. What a relief.
What followed were new challenges of orientating life around a new reference point, which at first felt like no reference point for my body. But Kundalini herself had ended, task accomplished.
I write this brief account for those who wonder if an end can ever come, if the process and accompanying challenges can ever really finish. Through sharing this story I hold a candle of hope and possibility for those of you on the awakening path.
Yet what never ends is the awakening process itself – the ever deepening process and challenge of embodying awakened awareness in every aspect of your life – the way you live your life, how you understand yourself, how you define your values and ethics, how you relate to others, have conflicts and resolve them, and how you follow the unique, sweet and sometimes fierce call of your own nature to show up in the world and be of service. There is no limit or end to the embodiment process.
And to me this ongoing awakening, this ever present deepening, is a profound source of joy and delight.
Do you have comments, thoughts or questions about the end of awakening? Please share them below, I love hearing from you.
(above image via Favim)