I remember wanting so badly to belong when I was younger. It seemed wonderful to be part of the groups at school and college.
Even recently, I recall being in my Master’s Degree program, newly arrived in the USA with such fresh, high dreams of a new life, new community and fitting into the college my soul called me to. And once I arrived I discovered I did not belong… in so many ways.
It took me quite a while to see it wasn’t possible for me to belong in those spaces. I could learn and acquire information and grow, but when I conformed it killed my spirit. I was too wild. Too psychic. And it was painful to pretend I was not also learning through these gifts
Now I know the less I belong, the better it is. Because the truth is I’m not here to belong—I’m here to be a light and lead people out of dark times.
And so are you.
But coming to terms with not belonging can be challenging!
To really get this about myself, I had to fully choose not to conform. It hurt to accept that I couldn’t conform to the rules in the U.S. I had to lick my wounds for a while. And then I let myself simply unfurl even more to who I really am—and that is when things really got fun.
Oh, it is a whole lot less painful not belonging than trying to belong.
I do well at school, but I don’t belong easily in educational systems and structure. I don’t belong where there’s gossip. It doesn’t suit my nature and I have no time for it. (You can see why “belonging” in the online world can be so hard—many of us just don’t vibrate at those levels.)
Because now, belonging only to myself, I am free from having to look outward for positive reflection and instead can dive into the inner places that speak most to me within me—and get dialed up there.
I live in this place now—and if you have been here, you know it is a very graceful place. It is where life courses to you and through you and into the world. It is flowing. It is clear. And being here is one of the best feelings ever—far better and more important than the fleeting feeling of belonging externally.
Plus, belonging to who you are and why you came here builds resilience. The resilience to keep on growing from your deepest, truest roots out into the world. And if there were ever a time that we are called to be our most resilient, it is now.
Remember, while belonging externally might feel good for a moment, it is temporary and ultimately compromises the intention of why you’re here. That kind of belonging shifts and moves all the time.
But when you know that you truly belong to your own self at such a beautiful depth?
That’s when you know you’ve come home.