What’s worse: not knowing your calling, or knowing your calling but feeling unable to activate it?
For folks amidst their awakening, the latter option happens — and it’s very frustrating. I experienced this confounding awakened purpose activation for 10 years, and now I coach clients through it.
Here are those stories plus 8 steps to help you soften into clarity and trust so you can connect with your awakened purpose activation.
Knowing one’s purpose, one’s destiny in life, is a self-actualizing goal we all thirst for at one point or another. It’s the ever elusive answer to your exact match of skill and passion. It’s what brings forth satisfaction and happiness.
When we get a taste of it, it’s common to desire it fully and immediately!
Your sense of purpose has arrived on the tip of your tongue or just out of reach…but it hasn’t consolidated yet. You can’t grasp it or birth your life path through it.
Then comes the anxiousness, concern, frustration, impatience and worry.
Because when you start to wake up, the energy of awakening, the expansion of your own consciousness (and Kundalini, if that’s active) start to purify and clear away the obstacles, residues, conditioning and programming that were clouding, blocking, or concealing your calling. Your seed of destiny is becoming unearthed as your higher consciousness starts to activate.
You’re starting to be presented with your destiny.
That’s why especially if you’re amidst an awakening, it’s common to start to feel or sense your life purpose, know it’s there and long for it — or even be bugged by it!
In 2006, amidst my Kundalini awakening, I got a very strong message that I was here to be a teacher of awakening.
At the time, I was a bit frightened by that message. I felt inept, inadequate and scared of receiving such a calling.
Over the coming years, I grew into more of a relationship and comfort with it, but I still felt very shy about it.
When my awakening finished in 2009, and in the next few years afterward, I thought, Okay, I finished Kundalini and awakening, let’s step into this calling to be a teacher of awakening.
And every time I thought this, I kept getting the message, “No, not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet.”
So I thought, Okay. Alright. I will keep cultivating. I’ll focus on my becoming.
This went on for a decade. My awakening finished in 2009, and the process of waiting and becoming didn’t finish until 2019!
During that time, I grew, I studied, I healed, I worked on myself a lot. Constantly. I studied the path of awakening. I cultivated my psychic abilities and gifts, and I went to the United States and completed a Master’s degree.
But even at the end of that Master’s degree, I thought, Okay, now? Is now the time?
And I got, “No, not yet. Keep waiting.”
I felt like there was this bigger platform and calling that I was meant to step out on. I knew that was the direction. But every time I tuned in, I got, “Not yet. Wait. Be patient.”
Then, in 2019, I felt a sudden sense that the brake had come off.
And when I tuned in, the message I got from spirit was, “Now. Now’s the time. Now’s the time for you to step up.”
It was such a relief to finally get that message.
But when I looked back, I was actually really grateful that the timing had waited so long because I had cultivated a deep inner strength, power, resilience and awareness.
And I felt cleaner inside, in terms of who I was as a being, to offer my work and offerings into the world.
So, beginning in 2019, I finally started to take my teaching and offerings from in-person to online, sharing them on global platforms and sharing my message in love.
And I’ve had such a great time doing it! It continues to flow through me, evolve and show me how it wants to be shared in the world.
So, dear one, my advice to you and your sense of purpose is this:
Recognise this prolonged process of purpose activation as normal. It’s normal to feel it, sense it, but not have clarity.
Some people are lucky enough early on in their awakening, or even prior to awakening, to get a very clear insight or knowing of their destiny. And sometimes, when we look back, we can see that early in our lives, there was a tip, a signal, a message or a direction. But we put it aside, forgot it, or we kept it protected and secret close in our hearts.
But during awakening, we start to feel our calling more strongly or we long for the calling and want to know it, want to fulfill it. There’s a sense of growing loyalty and yearning to be more unified and in relationship with that calling.
It’s all normal.
Try not to get into a drama about it.
Try not to get frustrated, anxious or give yourself a hard time because you don’t have that clarity yet.
The fact that you can feel and sense the seed of your purpose, that means that you are on the awakening path. You are on your way to the clarity you so desire.
Acknowledge (or even celebrate!) that you are in the becoming phase.
Once your sense of purpose starts to become stronger, or it’s little seed begins singing to you and you know it’s resonating somewhere in or around your being but you can’t quite act on it yet, this signals the becoming phase, where lots is happening.
You are definitely purifying and clarifying. You may be cleaning up your personal history or your past. You may be healing trauma.
You may be honing your gifts and skills. Maybe you’re studying and growing, learning the lessons you came here to learn in life. As souls, there are things that we chose to master in our lives. That could be what you are becoming immersed in during this phase.
Often in this becoming phase, folks are beginning to cultivate mastery in various forms. It might be mastery over a challenge, a difficulty, a trauma or an edge that you need to learn to go over — and become skillful at going over — because you need all of these skills and abilities to fulfill your purpose.
In the becoming phase, you are making space and filling space with the things needed once your purpose is ready.
Nothing is wrong with you if you lack clarity or readiness. Your purpose might simply exist on a certain frequency of consciousness that you are not yet a match for. It’s time to cultivate patience.
In the becoming phase, you’re cultivating newer or deeper awareness. You’re shifting into alignment with your purpose.
With each step, you’re raising your consciousness and your vibrational frequency so that you can get closer to the frequency where that calling or purpose lives. You’re making your way closer to it so it can activate, unfold and reveal itself.
Know that nothing is lost in the becoming phase. You’re going to utilize all of the gifts that you cultivated in this period, all of the strength, wholeness, sense of healing, freedom from traumas, things that held you back and misperceptions that fell away.
Every one of these things is going to allow you to show up in a more aligned, functional and capable way for whatever role, calling or purpose you’re here to enjoy fulfilling.
Remember that just because a purpose or calling is your path in life, that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy.
Purpose, destiny, calling… They also have challenges, things to overcome, edges to go over and ways we need to grow.
That growth leads to the skills, qualifications, wisdom, right perception, wholeness and wholeheartedness that will equip you to meet the challenges of your destiny path.
You’re building the muscles, you’re building the strength, you’re building the capacity to step up and stay strong when you meet the fullness of your purpose and any growth challenges and tasks it asks you to accomplish.
Don’t rush it. By giving in to impatience and acting on the calling too soon (even if we know what it is), we may actually take ourselves off-path because we may not yet be at the level of mastery, knowledge or frequency to accurately fulfill that purpose.
So, listen to intuition and timing.
This is different from procrastinating. If you intuitively know and sense that it’s the right timing and you’re holding off, that’s procrastination. And that’s a whole other story (though if you’d like me to write about it, just let me know in the comments below).
Know that in your becoming phase, many different elements of who you are coming together. In terms of alchemy, you’re being cooked into that final outcome.
Meditate. If you have any signal of your calling — it might be as simple as a feeling, a sensation, image or knowing in your body, meditate with that feeling, sensation or knowing.
Breathe in and check: Where in your body do you sense that signal of your calling? That feeling, that longing… Where is it in your body?
I did this practice with a client.
She had this tiny little knowing, “I’m here to be a healer,” but she knew nothing about what it meant, (remember, that’s completely normal). But she was stuck in her head about it and worrying on it.
So, I guided her to breathe, drop out of her head and notice: Where in her body was that signal? That feeling of “I’m here to be a healer”?
She said it was in her heart. So I guided her to simply drop her awareness down to her heart and bring breath and awareness to the heart, to that sensation. As she did this, she dropped right out of her head and was able to just breathe, be curious, feel and sense into that feeling of “I’m here to be a healer.”
As she shifted in this way, her whole body started to release fear and anxiety that had been in the background around her calling because it was so unknown. She started to relax and open to it more.
And as she did that, this tiny little signal, “I’m here to be a healer,” started to grow, expand and get stronger and calmer. It softened, opened and expanded into her whole chest by the end of this practice.
By that point, she was in a much more comfortable relationship with it. She felt okay that her calling was there, that it was singing to her. She felt more comfortable with not knowing what it was exactly because she had connected in a trusting way with the energy, essence and signal of the calling. My playwork to her was to continue to just sit with that, to see, notice and be curious of its signals.
It’s like when you’re with someone you’re falling in love with. You just sit, notice, be curious, adore and feel into them.
In the same way that you might do that with a new beloved, I encourage you to do that with the sensation, feeling, knowing or image of your purpose.
These little signals are the doorways, behind which is a vast knowledge and guidance around what your seeds of destiny are.
Did you try the playwork exercise? How did it feel? I’d love to have a little chat about it with you in the comments below.
Blessings to your awakening,