Awakening Ate My Social Life!

“Once upon a time I had a good social life, I went out to events and dinners and even parties, I was busy socially and busy at work and then awakening showed up and ate my social life, like a big tyrannosaurs rex, in one big gulp!”

Is this familiar to you? Have you struggled with maintaining a social life through your awakening process?

One of the most common complaints I hear from people going through Kundalini and awakening is the difficulty being social with other people, the loss of connection and their healthy social life. They share their struggles to relate to and engage in casual conversation with people in their life who are not dealing with this huge, internal restructuring process.

It can be quite a shock to feel such a deep internal pull away from consensus reality, and the external, material world. It is a pull that gives you no option but to follow it, and thus you may feel called away or withdrawn from friendships that were once fun, easy or nourishing. This can be sad, stressful, hurtful and lonely.

If this is happening to you it is important to remember that every part of your life is being transformed and purified including the way you relate to others and the way you relate to yourself.

And it is important to remember the intensity of the Kundalini process can ebb and flow, giving you bursts of time when there are available inner resources to relate more to others and have fun, and stretches of time when the urge is to be still, meditate, walk in nature or simply rest and be alone. Move with this flow inwards and outwards in relationship to the world as much as you can, and as much as the commitments of your life allow.

Here are six reasons awakening can lead us to spend more time alone:

1. The senses turn inwards

Kundalini and the awakening process call us inward and pull all our physical and subtle senses inwards, away from the external world and into our body and upward to the divine. In India, this is simply called withdrawal of the senses and is actually a celebrated and important part of the Kundalini process. We become much more aware of our inner process, inner states and sensations and more acutely sensitive to subtle experiences of consciousness, life and even psychic phenomena. This becomes the new and emerging orientation of your life. Until the awakening process is finished Kundalini will hold your awareness more internally than externally focused, and may not fully release it until your awakening process is complete. There is nothing you can do to fight this process; in fact, it is actually very beautiful. Instead, you are called to surrender to this inward and upward movement towards divine transformation. Out of this movement will arise more contentment, satisfaction and wholeness that are a natural expression of that which you truly are.

As your senses withdraw and social interaction becomes altered you may be called to work with issues of fear and control around how you relate to other people, to consider ways you have had your relationship needs fulfilled by others that no longer work for you, and perhaps the fear of being alone.

2. Awakening and Kundalini are very internal and consuming processes

Awakening and Kundalini focus on powerful, internal transformation that pulls your attention inwards and often commands a lot of your awareness and skills in order to follow and support yourself through the process day-by-day, moment by moment. It can be fascinating, amazing, confounding and confusing, and call you to lean on your intuition a lot. While this can be exciting and interesting for you it is not usually a great dinner table conversation and thus it can make you feel you are leading a thrilling James Bond lifestyle internally but have little to share externally in ordinary conversation. You may feel boring to those more focused on worldly activities. This is okay. If this is the case, accept where you are at. Furthermore, it can often be important to protect your precious awakening process from criticism or doubt or poor advice from others by keeping it private and sharing it only with a trusted few people close to you who can respect it and understand.

3. Identity loss

During the awakening process, your identity and sense of self are in a continual process of loss, transformation and annihilation. Big chunks of who you were, who know yourself to be, and your personal history, can simply fall away, sometimes with a shock and sometimes with ease. This continual process of identity loss can make it hard to find a solid sense of self at times to relate to others. Identity loss can call us to rest into emptiness and stillness of pure awareness and see with deep curiosity how awareness shows up in relationships. At other times the call is to follow the natural movement of awareness into aloneness when the process requires it.

4. Different priorities

Your wonderful and sometimes wild inner life is your focus and this is either intensely private or not very interesting to people who are more focused on consensus reality issues, events, stories and topics such as TV, the news, events in their lives, gossip, the drama of life, or the footy, (though I must admit my previous life as a sports journalist meant I could almost always chat about the footy and non-Collingwood fans please give me a break!). With such a deep inner process at work these external, everyday worldly stories can seem unappealing and be difficult to relate to, and thus others may find you equally difficult to relate to. You may lose interest in the activities and conversations that were once the center of existing relationships and instead crave deeply thoughtful, brazenly honest or curious, philosophical conversations. And this shift can be challenging.

5. You are very quiet

Your awakening process can lead you to love being quiet. You may enjoy being still and resting in silence, in pure awareness, peace or find simply connecting with nature becomes more desirable. These things can be so nourishing during transformative times. My favorite activity during the Kundalini years was to sit with a cup of tea and be with nature, to be absorbed in the exquisite beauty in the garden and the natural world around me. I craved it during every free moment. I loved the deep sense of communion with all of life and it fed me deeply.

6. Truth and authenticity

You are being called to be more truthful and authentic in your relationship with yourself and with others and this can be a challenge. It is both a confusing and profoundly exciting experience as you let go of old understandings of who you are and wait, wait, wait…quietly and patiently, for new experiences of what is authentic and true expression for and of you. There can be a deep birthing of new ways of being, including being in relationships, during this process and thus a desire to withdraw from relationships to some extent in order to facilitate this. Sometimes the desire is to withdraw completely.

During my Kundalini years, I spent much time at home being quiet, working with my process and the deep and often wildly full-on ride that was my awakening journey. There was little room for a busy social life, the process was demanding, rigorous, and intense and I found it hard to maintain a level of social pretense (which by the way I think is healthy and fine) that many social interactions rely on. I went for walks in the forest with friends and my dog, had cups of tea with loved ones, had my hand held lovingly, and attended the occasional inspiring outing that did not overwhelm my sensitive system – such as modern dance and classical music performances, dinners with spiritually-minded friends and spiritual events.

I did have the blessing of some close friends who could travel the journey with me even though they were not going through Kundalini awakening themselves. This was a great good fortune. They were happy to let me be totally out there and comfort me with the challenges.

Out the other side of Kundalini, and after a long period of recovery and integration, it became a great joy to be social again because I was dancing from a place of much deeper freedom. I could see with such happiness the simple beauty of others and delight in it, and every interaction became rich. I found this freedom made it easy to relate to almost anyone.

The “Descent of Shakti” process that followed the completion of Kundalini (I will write more about this process soon) demolished my social life yet again, and I wasn’t too happy about it at the time. Out the other side of that process, I now find my social self-content more in quietness with others, simple fun with close friends and a wholesome balance between a satisfying hermit life, a deeply related work life, and a wonderful, gentle time out in the world.

It is important to remember that Kundalini will always allow you the resources you need for your life, well-being and survival, and that includes for attending to personal relationships and work relationships as long as you stay close to your own process and its direction. Sometimes with awakening and Kundalini we are lead also to see that some relationships simply do need to complete. The less you struggle or resist your process, and the more you surrender to Shakti, the easier it will be to meet your relationship needs and the needs of those you love, and surf the flow of your beautiful and sometimes intense awakening process.

Over the years I have seen clients in powerful and even chaotic Kundalini process succeed in healing deep wounds in their relationships to others and themselves, and then blossom into deep self-love and feel truly cherished where once they felt profoundly alone. Shakti has provided the energy, challenge and healing to bring forth the blessings of love in their lives.

And of course, awakening opens our hearts as Shakti penetrates our heart centre, bringing compassion, tenderness, love, intuitive wisdom, and loving presence. All these are gifts to ourselves and gifts to those we love, and gifts to all our relationships and all of life.

Has Awakening or Kundalini impacted your relationships or social life? Please leave a comment below.

Intro to Understanding Your Kundalini Awakening

Access the Free Masterclass

Befriend your Kundalini in a calm, confident and clear way.

Whether you’ve been amidst your Kundalini awakening for years or she just woke up yesterday, this class brings the “aha!” moments that can completely transform your journey with her.

Share your thoughts with Myree

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


  • Hi Myree, firstly I was going to say I enjoyed your article and then I thought so refreshing. No words can express what I read. For me going to Sydney was one of the wisest decisions I have made. I feel it was a necessary part of my journey. I did some yoga, meditation and vibrational meditation. I gained a greater awareness of raw food. Spent many quiet times at the beach, reading and thinking and started listening more to my inner self. For the better part of eight months I had very little contact with adults and I think this gave me more clearer thinking as I would think to myself “there are no monkeys chattering in my head”.i learnt a lot from a five year old about life, what is really important and the pleasures in simplicity. Moving back to Millicent, I view life situations differently. I feel I am a lot calmer and take pleasure in nourishing myself. I also listen to my inner self. In these ways I have gained an inner strength and belief in myself. My growing awareness has enabled me to let go of a lot of burden and I have learnt to truly forgive. I believe in the act of gratefulness and every day I feel my life is good. If something doesn’t happen I now believe it is for a reason and accept this.
    Keep writing your blog as I would love to follow it
    Regards Sandra

    • Dear Sandra,
      I so deeply admire your courage to move interstate and go on such a deep, inward and transformative healing journey. Time alone has itself “held the space for you”during this process. The precious discovery of peace, healing, gratitude and insight shines through your words, and all your posts. You are an inspiration.
      Keep on shining!
      Myree x

    • Hi myree thank you for your insight into the many sides of awakening, I have had a wonderful journey of awakening, kundalini is an amazing experience, I had full awakening, then it started all over again clearing each charkra of blockages, this took literally years, of hard work, then in 2016 Dec, it rose to crown charkra, were it is causing incredible pain, not being abe to go within , I can not read a book or have any meditations,as close concentration, triggers chronic pain,, am struggling to write this, so 5 years still in pain, am feeling lost and hurt, as my life was meditation, I have a Guru, Sri satyha Sai Baba not being able to go within is so very hard. All my centres have shut down reading your story helps so much, am seeing a psychologist and mindfulness teacher in September maria

    • Hi Sandi,

      Wow, that is so amazing to read about your awakening journey. I had no idea you were going through this experience. I am glad you are seeing a mindfulness practitioner and hope goes well.At certain times Kundalini pulls you inward in a kind of strong withdrawal from the world process, and then reading, taking in other information, meditation can sometimes be difficult. It sounds like your Kundalini process has not stabilised properly. Have you downloaded the free self care book on my website? Sending love and let me know how you go. Myree x

  • Hello Myree
    I’m so glad you are back blogging. The world needs your wise and eloquent insights. At least I do :). Such a timely reminder for me to honour my process. Sometimes it is challenging to balance the social and alone time. Sometimes I put in appearances when I really just want to be alone. Most of the time I must frustrate friends and family because I’m so non-committal. There are times I just have to wait and see how I am feeling on the day. I tend to manage my calendar so I have one day on the weekend to myself. I’ve learned that I prefer one deeper engagement than a weekend crammed with events. It’s just not how I roll.
    I do hope you will keep posting about kundalini and shakti. I would love to learn more.
    Love and blessings

    • Dearest Kym,
      I so deeply understand the dance of staying close to your process, and the call of Shakti in deeper,deeper, deeper, and the call to honour relationships. Thank you for your beautiful words. I love how you have simply left room in life for the big quiet. Yes, honour your beautiful and deeply creative awakening.
      Sometimes our loved ones cannot understand how spending so much time alone can be so sustaining, enlivening, and to be honest, that it can be everything!
      love love love
      Myree x

    • Hi Ron, Thank you. Yes, Kundalini brings our divinity through our beautiful form. A fabulous reboot.

  • So so grateful to have found you at this very time of my awakening. Thank you enormously from my heart.

    Blessings and Love to you and everyone.


    • Thank you Ariffa, I am so glad this article was supportive and helpful for you.
      Kundalini can have a big impact on our relationships life.


  • Hi Myree,
    Yes, relationships are the “fodder” for my fire of kundlini. It ate up all of it. Thank God! It was extremely hurtful, very shocking, very painful… first was the divorce, then both my daughter’s left home, quite suddenly, in great emotional outbursts, and without a backward glance. Oh, I could have died! But it got worse, as kundlini progressed, I could not keep working at the same pace. Oh, I was fantastic at my work as a supply teacher, but I just could not cope with adults, even though they meant well. For past year I haven’t worked at all.
    But that’s not all, I have become such an inward hermit, with this immense bliss and joy In my head, like I’m in the lap of God, that I just have nothing to say.
    This caused people to be curious, to the point of invasive. All my family is abroad, so is a “close friend”. They cliqued behind my back, broke into my Facebook, email and other media, to contact my neighbours, among others and told them I was depressed!please help! (I was in heaven!) It got so intrusive, I could not go out without . My family, 5000 miles away, knowing!
    You’d think, being Hindu Indian, they would be more supportive, but no. There was extreme criticism, jealousy and so much ridicule to bring me down, trip me up!
    I was so lucky in a sense that I was warned of this when was 18 by my guide, who said this (kundlini) happen, it’s nothing special. Let it rise and fall… don’t tell anyone. You’ll receive whatever help you need. Just learn to be Alone. Thankfully, I never told anyone!
    It was wild, funny, so blissful, but so strong!So loving, very commanding, surrender is the most natural part. In recognition of your own truth.First to the guru, who is a rascal by the way! And then to the one reflected in his pure, mirror like heart, Yourself!
    Yes, relationships will fall away, trust that! It’s ok. Much love my Myree, Thank you for creating this space.

    • wow, thank you Nima for sharing you big, intense relationship journey as a part of your awakening process. It can certainly entail a lot of loss at times. I am glad you have a relationship to awakening in which kundalini keeps you good company. Sending you much love and blessings,
      Myree x

  • Dear Myree, It feels so nice to be able to talk about this in a supportive environment. Thank you for writing this beautiful blog with such depth and sensitivity.
    It really feel like a lid has lifted…. I don’t feel hurt or like a victim, but I feel so much stronger now, that I have stood up to people who have Been quite domineering and manipulative to me. I just never saw it so clearly, till now! It feel brutal the way you are guided to react, but just do it! There’s nothing g to lose! 😉

    • Thank you Nima. I am so glad this blog is supportive for you and your awakening.
      Blessings to your strength and deep centre.
      Myree x

Get Myree’s next article the moment we publish it

+ we’ll send you a gift: her top guided meditation, “Your Deepest Place”

Scroll to Top

Free Kickass Kundalini E-Book

The self-care guide to stable, functional and awesome awakening