I have just celebrated my first full year not showing up on Social Media. If the Social Media world is your happy place, go for it! Enjoy.
I did not intend to leave those realms. It just kind of happened. If Social Media was a planet, I just fell off that planet.
I guess it had been coming for a while. It had been brewing.
I was increasingly dissatisfied with the toxicity of the environment, the sense of being punished by the AI algorithm. It always seemed to want me to go against myself in ways that were not aligned, and that schism gradually grew greater and greater. I noticed that those online spaces’ pressure made me feel “Blah!” Instead of happy spaces to connect to people, they had become purposefully manipulated scenes. Everyone, including the field, “felt” unhappy there.
At the same time, in March last year, I realized I was developing symptoms of long COVID, stealing my energy and finding myself not showing up on socials any more.
In a way, long-COVID became an ally to help me step off the Social Media planet.
My last post was a birthday post one year ago.
So, in stepping off the Social Media planet, I stepped into my own quiet, private world. I stopped taking selfies. In fact, last year I took the least number of photos in more than a decade, and I got to the point where I forgot about taking photos of anything. I no longer had that niggle in the background that I had to create some nice evidence of my life in order to truly exist, to entertain, to matter in the world and to be successful. I cannot put into words what the relief was, and again I did not try to – the relief just happened to me.
I sincerely encourage you to take a selfie break.
There is something about coming back into a private relationship with oneself outside the realm of selfies, that is very nourishing and restorative. It is a re-anchoring inside of you, outside the pressure of the external gaze. It provided for me a quiet container and gave boundaries that supported a relationship with myself. The most important adjudicator of who I am became simply me, outside of the noise of being a certain way, or of appearing for others. I simply liked myself in my quiet, peeled back freedom.
Of course, there were the niggling voices of ‘publicity’ hounds!
“You can’t disappear!”
“It will be a disaster!”
“People expect to see you!”
“They need to see you or they won’t remember you, won’t buy your product/s. Won’t think you matter at all!”
Here is where long COVID was a supreme ally, and an unexpected blessing, because I simply could not care about or respond to those inner and outer voices.
The revelation was that not being on Social Media made absolutely zero impact on my business. I am giggling now, mirroring straight back at all the BS and pressures put on us that we have to do this terrible thing to ourselves – if being on Social Media is that terrible thing for you. I do know that it does work for some, but I truly think that it is not meant for a lot of us.
Despite not posting for a year on Instagram, my business remained booked out, with more clients than ever before. The programs I taught last year were filled and successful. And people still find me!
How?
🎙Through podcasts I have done over the years.
🖥 Through my website that I have given a lot of love to since 2011.
I have consistently for more than 15 years created free things for people in service of their awakening. In those spaces, I have provided loving, safe and positive guidance for people in all the kinds of places that we find ourselves stuck in. I have been reliable in my presence.
✍️ I also kept up my newsletter regularly, despite having long-COVID, keeping me in connection with my community which is always fun for me. Since I had taken a break from teaching, there was no need for marketing so instead I got to write about what was spontaneous and inspiring for me.
At times I was found through YouTube videos that I have made over the years. I have not put a new video on YouTube for about 4 years and yet it still sings for me: Thank you YouTube!
I am aware that my pre-existing posts on Instagram and Facebook pages are still there for people to read, so they can see my dog, my garden, and my travel adventures, without me having to put that on repeat and reload on Planet Social Media.
On top of that, I have been locked out of my personal Facebook account since I bought a new computer several years ago. And as Facebook never answers their own messages it seems that I’ll be locked out forever. Another blessing outside of my control!
One of the most important things about being off Social Media is that it has reminded me of what a quiet person I am. I love fun. I love to play. But the rest of the time I am deeply quiet. I adore silence. The stillness in nature. Being mindfully creative. Just getting out with my Dog.
Not being on Social Media has allowed all these experiences to be once again just for me, and in just being for me I open more fully to them. I receive them deeply at the moment because they are not going to be presented or represented to anyone else – a Social Media pressure that would make them disappear almost as soon as they emerged. Returning to my quiet world thus allowed me to cultivate a deep appreciation of being just present.
Social Media created a constant pressure to write things and present images that were captivating and interesting in such ways that would make people interested in me and my work in the world. Letting this go gave me a deeper sense of internal happiness about the path that I am on.
I took up new hobbies. Learned to make ceramic pots. Grew 100 dahlia plants! Raised baby chickens and truly geeked out on things that I am passionate about without any pressure to share any of that on social media. It remains my own private joy and delight.
I do occasionally visit Instagram not to share myself but to share playful cat and chicken dancing videos in silly private chats with my dear friends Gigi and Sean, and of course to read about the goings on with my beloved Football team! Go Pies!
